Corner House Diaries

Do you guys hear that?

Wind whooshing through the trees

Leaves rustling in the wind

Dead leaves crackling on the ground

River gurgling as it passes over the rocks

How does that make you feel?

Doesn’t that bring a smile to your face. I am sure it does.

Come!

Let me take you on a ride with me to the nature just for a little while as you read my blog.

Post covid, my thirst for some travel was at an all-time high. I jumped at this opportunity when my husband said “solo trip, you in?”, and there I was with my bag packed the very next moment.

Let’s get on with the story shall we…

My first venture outdoors post pandemic, a trek to Narasimha Parvatha in Agumbe which is the highest peak in Agumbe region, which stands at 1150 Mt’s from sea level.

Darshan and I randomly stumbled upon PTU (Plan the unplanned) and went ahead with the booking considering the reviews of course.

The trek was planned all the way through by the PTU team, starting from the transportation, to the accommodation and food.

We were a small group of 8 members, including a content creator and 2 trek leads.

We drove down to Agumbe from Bengaluru which was a 6 hours’ drive at night.

The next morning, we had our breakfast at our homestay (Nisarga Homestay), took our parceled lunch boxes and began our journey to the summit from Mallandur @7:30 am.

There are two routes for reaching the summit. One was from Agumbe and the other was from Kigga. We took the Agumbe route. Our guide, Devandra led the way as we entered the forest. Along the way there were bushes which were way over my head. In the dense forest, there was no sunlight and you could hear loud chipping buzzing all around.

We reached the Barkhana falls. Seetha river descending from 260mts height forming the Barkhana falls is one hell of a memorable view. We spent some time at the falls and off we started again.

From the falls, the elevation was steep.

As time passed by, my body started giving me the usual signs.

Dude!!

Hey, listen you! Let’s stop for a while, let’s sit down huh. Just for a minute.

You know that feeling right?

You want to do something at all cost but your mind plays tricks on you, makes you think you are at your limit when you are actually not.

I think I intervened with these thoughts and pushed myself about 4/5 times before reaching the top of the mountain. Looking at the other trekkers moving along gave me a lot of strength to keep chugging along.

We hit a long stretch of dry grassland with the sun right above our heads and as I kept moving forward, I could see us reaching the summit.

Was it worth it, have a look at this picture and you be the judge and tell me?

It was absolutely worth the effort.

Yes, the view was completely serene but what made it more special was the fact that I made it.

The feeling of the wind in my hair which just calmed me down.

We stayed put for a while at the summit, rejuvenating and taking it all in.

Nature has its way with you, doesn’t it?

You feel pure at the core and it makes it so much easier to reflect on our lives.

Alright! Now the downhill begins…

My knees had given up on me but I had the demons, the blood sucking leeches giving me some kind of a reason to push forward. The moment you stop, they hop on to you to greet you.

My legs at this time were running like flowing water. All that was carrying me around was the momentum, if I stopped at any point, I thought I would just stop and call it a day.

I just wouldn’t let that happen with my first trekking experience.

The most wonderful thing is how some mere words can give you so much motivation and that final push.

Chalo bas ho gaya, arey agaye.. Chalo chalo..

That’s all they had to say to keep me on my toes.

We reached the bottom and walked a couple of kms to get into the vehicle to drop us back to the homestay.

A hot bath, yummy dinner and a bonfire awaited us all as we ended this beautiful day.

It is not easy to take the first step, to decide the right moment.

It was my first trek and it was the first time I left my munchkin at home alone with daddy dear.

I have been away from social media for one whole year. Well in all honesty, my WhatsApp was still running. I had no choice there with official matters at stake. I reinstalled my apps again just after this trip. The “We were on a break period” phase of my life was over until I met it again.

I usually don’t write travel blogs but there was something so refreshing about my first trek which made me pen it down.

Until next time, bye.

VC:Co Trekkers- Venugopal and Sharath Hegde

PC: All my fellow trekkers.

Here is the link to PTU website

You can directly book your next Narasimha Parvatha Trek from here

Congratulations all you new mommies!! You have done a great job so far…
I know its been hard but you have been tough throughout. You had your baby Delivered. Pheww!!! No words can express this feeling of relief right (nothing to be guilty about).
Needless to say, You took good care of your well being while the little one was enjoying his time in your cozy little womb listening to your sweet whispers and munching away.
Isn’t it true, the day we know, we are going to be mothers we start doing things we never did before. We give the special attention towards the nutrition, the exercises, the meditation, on how to keep ourselves happy and to keep stress miles away from us, on and on and on.
It stuns me how motherly care and protectiveness towards your kid kicks in so naturally.
But do things end at giving birth.
Nahhhh…
One must realise, the excruciating week after you have pushed your baby and a few months after, are very important for the recovery of the mother. The details of what goes on during the recovery period are gross, may be that’s why its not often talked about. But to have so many people view my pregnancy story has motivated me to write this post.
I have one baby and it was a normal delivery (C section recovery is different). You can read an emotional roller-coaster ride about my baby’s birth story: https://cornerhousediaries.home.blog/2019/01/05/my-birth-story/

I have run through my memory to dodge down all the elements I went through the recovery cycle.
Everyone’s body is different hence you may or may not experience the below.

Disclaimer : A lot of bodily functions would be discussed hence whose of you who think a lady wakes up from bed, emitting light, with wind gushing through her hair glamorously( who needs a washroom to freshen up, Duhh!! ), I suggest you avoid going further from here. Having said that, Let’s start the fun/horror/instructive ride.

1.SWEAT : Suddenly your armpits become a slough of stink. You start sweating and smelling like a pig. Taking a hot bath more than once did help me a little bit but don’t expect much.At the same time it’s a good sign that you are sweating as it helps to shed some of your mommy weight.

2.LEAKY LEAKY MILK : It’s funny how even the breasts need time to learn how much to make and when to stop. When the baby is nursing on one side, the other side goes like, “hey where is my baby”. It takes a while to adjust to this stimulation.
I always had a small towel with me all the time. While the baby is nursing in one side you can firmly press the towel on the other side which will help stop the flow. You can collect the milk as well if you find it is of considerable amount. Yes, I did make sure to give these towels a good wash. I couldn’t stand the smell of milk soaked towels. But you don’t worry, slowly you will start enjoying nursing and it will no longer be painful or leaky.

3.PAINFUL POOPING : In the process of relieving your self , yes you will feel as though you are gonna tear those stitches and put a hole down there. It’s really scary however do check those stitches time and again for any wear and tear. Also your partner should get used to your moaning and swearing in the bathroom. I am guilty of all that.

4.WHITE DISCHARGE : This is the time your female intimate wash comes handy. It’s absolutely fine to use it daily( yes after consulting your OB-gyn) after you have given birth as the discharge is constant which makes you feel irritable. Initially I used it daily and slowly as the discharge came down so did my usage, about 2 or thrice a week. Its important to keep the region clean and dry.

5.BELLY AND STRETCH MARKS : Did you feel a void inside you after giving birth. Oh, I had that feeling.
You feel like something is missing and when you run your hands through your belly, now the feeling has changed, it’s all mushy mushy and wiggly.
Well that belly will not go soon after the delivery. That will take time as the uterus contracts back to its original form. And in this process, the stretch marks are left behind. Mind you these are marks left after a battle you just won, so be proud of it you tigress, nothing to be ashamed of. These marks will go if treated properly with a little care. Coconut oil or aloe vera gel is what I am applying now to deal with the marks. Hoping it will cure it to most extent.

6.DIASTASIS RECTI : So while your baby grows little by little in your womb, the rectus abdominal muscles in your abdomen starts to separate leaving a gap for belly to pouch out. Do not hurry to lose weight and start your planks and crunches. The added pressure due to such exercises causes the gap to increase which is the adverse of what we want. We need to work on reducing the gap first and then move over to aggressive exercises. Now I have 2 finger gap and am working on reducing it. If you have 4 or more, please go see a doctor. Unfortunately doctors do not tell us about this however its a very important aspect during recovery.

7.HUNGRY : Do not shy away from eating just because you fear to put on some more weight. Absolute No.
You must eat well to keep your milk supply adequate to feed your baby. I am having a good time enjoying my munchies. In this process make sure you eat healthy. Stick to your dry fruits, greens, vegetables and remember what goes inside of you will come out of your baby so if you indulge in something unhealthy then your kid and you will have to pay the price for it.

8.GASSY : Hmm, considering your parts have stretched about 10 centimetres to get your baby out , it will take a while to get control over the region.
Yes people around you will have to ear it and smell it with grace. This will go on for a few weeks until the muscles firm up there. One weird thing you will experience and that’s queefing. Do your kegel daily and frequently, that’s the solution.

9.IT HURTS DOWN THERE : Whether you are sitting, walking, sleeping, just any movement, it hurts. The stitches cause such irritability. It took almost a month in my case for healing. I used to take sitz bath for 10 to 15 minutes multiple times in a day. It helped me a lot. And any time you need some help, call for it. The initial days will be difficult but don’t worry it will pass by and slowly you will get a hang of it.

10.BODY ACHES : Every inch of your body calls out for help. If your posture while nursing is bad, it adds to your back pain. Make sure you get regular body massage done. It definitely helped me a lot. Use a feeding n nursing pillow to reduce the stress on your back.

11.BLEEDING : There is a lot of heavy bleeding happening. For me, it lasted for about 8 weeks. I was given maternity inner ware by the hospital along with those gigantic pads.

12.HIGH ON EMOTIONS : Being a mother is an overwhelming process at first. It tests your patience, your energy, ability to control anger and so much more. Some days are good and some days are very uncertain. A baby at home changes a lot of things. One thing is your laundry ( milk soaked Napkins, clothes with urine and poop, saliva, erghhh) and cleanliness (stress on hygiene is important) . I am that person who like to keep things tidy and everything need to be placed exactly where they supposed to be. My son is just 5months old so for me, the fun has just begun. The bedroom, the washroom your house will start to stink. Thanks to my mom who helped me these past months with everything, I mean everything . I wouldn’t have survived if not for her.

13.HAIRFALL : I think this started happening to me about 3 months in. Hair hair, just everywhere. On your pillow, on your bed, in the drain of your shower, as you comb, on the floor, everywhere you walk, sit.. Ohhh! The sight at such oodles of hair leaves you depressed . Suddenly you will find slight baldness. NO! Dont try to hide it using eyebrow pencil. How I dealt with this- I just got a short hair cut. As time goes by, it should be fine.

14.Its ok, you may not fall in love with your baby as soon as he pops out.
Please keep your judgemental thoughts with you. It’s natural and understandable too. It wasn’t till 3 weeks in when I was slowly on the path of recovery did I start enjoying the little things. His smile, his little smirk, the little expressions. I enjoy my time with him listening to music, dancing with him, talking a stroll in the sunlight, nursing. I am making the most of my maternity leave. I cannot fathom the thought of leaving him now. Surely it’s gonna be a difficult job when I start going to my office.

Well now you guys know too much about me. But I would say this, the pain is worth it for your little one. Enjoy the motherhood however at the same time, take time out for yourself and remember until you don’t look after yourself you won’t be able to take care of your kid well.

This post was mainly to help women realise that they are not alone in this journey , we are all in this together. Let’s help each other out through this entire process.

On this note signing out for now.

Love

A New Mom

So I decided to share ayansh’ s birth story! Yes we have given birth to a beautiful soul on 12th Aug ’18 at 5:29:37 PM who we named as AYANSH (it means, a Gift of god which he truly is). Ayansh is about 5 months old and it got me thinking that I hadn’t shared with you guys about my experience. Anyways heads up to all the readers who intend to read this article – It’s not a pretty story however, my story is not intended to discourage or frighten anyone. Every woman has a different story, some scream, some are quiet, and some might even have a pleasurable one. Hence this is just my story and this would also help me remind myself the entire experience before everything starts to fade out as time goes by.
Ahh, one more thing, this is an ultra-long post hence make yourself comfortable.
Okay, now those still with me, Let’s begin the journey.

As my expected delivery date was nearing (it was 20th Aug’18), I was visiting my OB-GYN weekly at Cloud nine Hospital. On 10th Aug, my OB-gyn performed a crowning procedure which helps the baby’s head to emerge bit by bit with each contraction.

Oh! Did it pain and with it there was a little bleeding. The day went on with me lying down relaxing while Mom kept the hospital bag and all the necessary documents ready in case of any emergency. It was around 8:30PM, when I started to have some discharge, I wasn’t sure what it was so I waited a couple of minutes. Then the water was continuously flowing which made to realize, It was time, the water has broken. Without panicking I gave a call to my ob-gyn Mom-in-law if I should rush to the hospital to double check, she gave a nod and my parents and I drove down to Cloud nine. There was a list provided by the hospital which had mentioned the cases in which one must get admitted to the immediately, the breakage of water is one such case. I informed my hubby, Darshan and he was on his way to hospital as well. Sitting in the car, we listened to some good music, I did not panic but It was then did a feeling “my life is about to change forever “surrounded me like a cloud.

In the hospital first thing we did was, check my weight, it was 68kgs (overall 17kg weight gain) then I changed to hospital gown. We had opted for a private room. I was not allowed to eat anything, my intake were only fluids now. I was given IV and my belly was connected to a fetal monitor to check the fetal heart rate at regular intervals. The nurses had a check on my BP, fetal heart rate every hour along with the duration of the contraction. Next they shaved my pubic area and gave enema. I had read of enemas and heard of the experiences from people but this was my first time getting one. It is not a pleasant one but works like magic as it makes you do your deed within a few minutes. Tip: As soon as you receive the enema, be next to a bathroom, it will make your life easy.

Soon after I was given injections, testers for allergies and followed by real dosage.
Damn! You are poked with those god damn needles a thousand times, Not a fan of those. The water discharge was happening continuously. They had placed a fluid absorbing sheet underneath me however, the mushy feeling beneath me the whole time was very gross to be very honest. I made the nurses change the sheet quite a few times.

As the night grew upon us, the rate at which the contractions were occurring gradually kept increasing. I was told to take rest and sleep well as the real job was yet to begin but the contractions hardly let me sleep. It was a long night and time seems to have been passing real slowly. I was holding, rather say crushing Darshan’ s hand each time I had a contraction. We both shed tears as we held our hands together. Darshan comforted me the night and gave me a lot of strength at every step as we both looked forward for our angel to arrive. Morning 5AM, My Mom-in-law came in from Shimoga . It was time my hubby took some rest. Now I could hear the screams of other ladies from their respective rooms. One who came in the same time as me had already delivered her baby while the other was all prepped for a normal delivery and there I was lying on my bed waiting for my dilations to improve. The doctor on duty came in to check on me. ”Checking” sounded like a small routine, but man did it hurt. I was just 1-2 cm dilated.
My parents and my brother came to the hospital at around 10 AM. It was around the same time the doctor checked me again and found the dilation hadn’t improved. As my Mom-in-law told, I focused on my breathing, at least I tried to. I kept myself hydrated by constantly drinking the natural juices but mostly I was taking water melon juice. By noon I was 3cm dilated, nowhere nearly ready. I was in such pain and so was Darshan as he stood there helpless, Holding me tight. During this time, the nurses and the doctors kept making their visits. As the clock ticked, there were no signs of improvement. On the other hand I was yelling out loud with excruciating pain at my husband. My exact words were “I cannot do it”, “Darshan call the doctor and lets go for a C section”, “ I cannot take it any longer”. My parents and my brother were praying for my well-being while my Mom-in-law was beside me trying to calm me down and making me believe that I can do this, She kept saying those encouraging words time after time . Only husbands were allowed in the ward, my mom in law being an ob-gyn by profession was allowed in. As my mom hadn’t seen me the entire day, we requested and the doctors obliged for once. I wanted to show my mom that her baby girl is a strong but believe me as soon as I saw her, tears rolled down my cheeks. She couldn’t see me in the pain and gave me a tight hug. Mom was there for a few minutes, you know how strict the nurses and doctors can be. With all my screaming, Darshan was now getting tensed and worried. He requested the doctor to quickly take a call and go for C-section as I was unable to take the pain and all they said was “We shall wait till the evening and if there is no other choice then will take a call accordingly”. The doctors were hell bent on performing a normal delivery. Now that I think it was of course a good thing but at that moment all they were to me was monsters who were not listening to a thing their patient said. All I wanted was to have my baby out as soon as possible.

At 2:30PM, I opted for an epidural anaesthesia which me and my hubby had talked about already. Mind it, it is painful getting one but it does wonders in relieving the pain and also helps in improving the dilation. Common MYTH: Some women do not adopt epidural because of the assumption that it causes severe back pain However in reality, it does not happen. Hence please take this option if you cannot bear the pain. Medicine has evolved over the years and is providing tools which can provide you some relief then why not take it, which is what I did. As the anaesthetic surgeon was giving the anaesthesia, Darshan held me. It was then finally could I get some sleep. I slept for over an hour which was much needed. After I woke up, the doctor checked on my dilation and I was 6cm dilated now. By evening 5PM, I was 9-10cm dilated and ready to go into the labour room.

Once on the bed, they started to instruct me to push as soon as I felt the contractions coming. They constantly kept saying PUSH! PUSH! Come On! “You are not trying hard”, “This is the last stage, Give it all you have, come on”. The baby’s head was seen, all it needed was one last strong push but by now I was exhausted. My OB-gyn made some room and soon the baby came out. They placed the baby on my chest while they were putting on the sutures.

I was emotionally blank however there was a sense of relief that its finally over. The nurse checked on the baby’s weight which was 3.25 kg and other vital signs and then called my hubby. He was so afraid to even touch the little one. We smiled at each other as he stared at the baby. I was shifted from the labour room and as I had a lot of blood loss, the nauseating feeling stayed for a while. Soon I pucked and felt much better. Next was the non-stop shivering followed with high fever. They gave me a much needed nice hot bath and slowly the shivering went away. Later they moved me and the baby to a private room.

My family was finally able to meet me which was around 9:30 PM. My mom gave me a tight hug while I could see my dad and brother getting emotional. Happy tears in everyone’s eyes 😃.

Ayansh was asleep in a bassinet next to me.

TIP: If you do have some energy left and can think rationally, tell the nurse that you will put on your own night gown. At least you would look good in the photo unlike me. I wasn’t in my senses to think straight hence the hospital gown as you can see yourself.
As it was late night, my family went to have their dinner at 10PM and my brother stayed back looking after us.
My Mom-in-law stayed the night while others went home to take some rest.
Ayansh was born healthy by god’s grace. My Mom-in-law and the nurse helped me with breastfeeding. Ayansh latched on to breastfeed immediately. My mom-in-law helped me greatly that night. The pain I went through was unimaginable. I remember how hard it was to even move from side to side in the bed. Getting up to go to bathroom required amazing amount of energy-I even needed help getting my legs over the side of the hospital bed. I was supposed to inform the nurse as soon as I peed and pooped. It had never pained that much to just pee. Oh I couldn’t do the entire night though I could feel the pressure building in. Finally next morning I relived myself with great pain. My Mom-in-law took care of my little one and asked me to sleep that night.
The next morning Darshan came by first to get the entire insurance claim completed then my parents came by. My sweet Mom had prepared breakfast and lunch for Darshan and my Mom-in-law while I had the food the hospital had provided. The hospital takes good care of you and the nutrition you consume. Then the lactation consultant came in to check on the feeding and then the nutritionists, the pedestrian and then came my OB-gyn doctor.
In the evening, Darshan’s cousins and aunts paid their visit. As his office was near by the hospital, his colleagues came by too. By the next day afternoon we were ready to go home. We were waiting for the last set of blood test result done for Ayansh. It was then did we get to know that his bilirubin level was “borderline” but we were sent home with a paediatrician appointment schedules for the next morning. Though I was in pain (still recovering), but I felt peaceful. We were going home. My dad pulled out the car and off we went with our tiny tot. These three days were a rollercoaster ride for all the members of the family. I cannot imagine the pain we all went through. God has blessed us immensely.

Episode 2: As Ayansh had jaundice, the next few days were incredibly tough, more like my first test as a mother. The yellowishness was now more prominent on Ayansh’ s body. Both I and Darshan were constantly worried.

Words cannot express the pain I felt each time the needle was pricked to draw blood from the “one day” old baby who just came into this world. After it was discovered that the bilirubin levels were quite low, Ayansh was moved to NICU (Neonatal intensive care unit) for phototherapy. We felt helpless as he lay in the incubator alone with little goggles placed over his eye to protect from the blue ray radiation. I was balling at that sight, Darshan and my Dad reassured me that everything would be fine. Every two hours, using a suction and breast pump, I expressed milk for my baby who was still under the blue radiation soaking Vitamin D. My Mom came in later with food and reminded me that I need to take care of myself in order to take care of the kiddo. I had my lunch and then I lay down to relax a little as I was still recovering. Ayansh was in NICU for about 12 hours. When the bilirubin level seems to have improved, he was moved to a ward but was still under radiation, only difference was I and Darshan were with him now. His skin was peeling because the radiation, my heart just broke looking at that sight.

Oh the night was tough!!…Neither was Ayansh feeding nor was he sleeping which was very important for his recovery. No matter what I and Darshan tried, there were no positive results but thanks to the very helpful nurse who was there for us at any point of time. It was only because of her did we survive the night. It was she who fed him the expressed milk and it was also she who made him fall asleep. Next day morning the bilirubin levels were checked again, poking the little one yet again. We were given a green signal to go home. We were happy but not completely relived because though the jaundice had reduced, it was still there.

Adding to our misery was the cold and wet climate. The Rains!!! At the moment we needed sunlight which wasn’t in abundance. The struggle was indeed real. Thankfully after all the hard work, the jaundice was improving.

Since then it’s been a whirlwind of joy and love the likes of which I never could have imagined. As each day passes by, I learn a new thing basically parenting is “work in progress” for both me and Darshan.

I hope I didn’t traumatize anyone.

Love
A New Mom.